Dallas Stars: Working All Star Angle, 007 Style
All Star weekend: a simple break in the hectic NHL schedule and a chance for players and fans alike to loosen up and enjoy themselves, or something a bit sneakier? You decide.
First things first: I feel obliged to preface this by saying that I’m not a conspiracy theorist. Now that I’ve gotten that off my chest, I need to explain something to you. As we head into the All Star game, I have that special little giddy feeling that I get each year around this time.
It has nothing to do with the traditional skills competition, or the draft, or seeing a different side of what is usually a group of somewhat tense, uptight players carrying the weight of their team’s success squarely on their shoulders.
Well, maybe it is a little bit of those things. But it’s mostly something else.
Do you ever wonder, why have an All Star game at all? Aside from the insane revenue it generates, of course? For those of you, like myself, who have asked this question many times to no avail (because obviously money is never the answer), I finally have the explanation you seek.
The All Star game is an NHL-facilitated opportunity for teams to covertly gather intelligence on each other.
I’m talking highly sensitive, burner phone and tech-toy-toting, “this message will self-destruct” kind of stuff. Straight up espionage. Again, not a conspiracy theory. It’s clearly the only plausible explanation.
You can see it playing out in your mind, too, right? Especially with the new All Star game format being utilized this year: three-on-three divisional teams, with a one million dollar prize for the champion team.
What better time for each team’s representative players to feel out the best players from rival teams within their own division? And we all know the real reason the players always look so sharp on All Star weekend. They’re not wearing suits to look presentable, they’re simply getting their James Bond on.
And for the Dallas Stars, this years’ game provides a huge intel opportunity. Having started off the season strong, the Stars spent the month of January falling behind and giving up first place in their division. Perhaps this weekend is the perfect opportunity to plant some bugs and run some surveillance on the competition.
This year is also unique in regards to the special agents working for, er, representing the Dallas Stars. Dynamic duo Jamie Benn and Tyler Seguin will be tag-teaming their way to the All Stars, where they’ll appear together for the first time since 2012, when they were not yet teammates (perhaps they were gathering information on each other, back then?).
Even more fortuitous for the Stars was the election of Lindy Ruff as head coach for the Central division team. This position will give him the best vantage point to survey the Central’s greatest talents and devise a plan for the Stars to eliminate threats.
Okay. So maybe no one is placing bugs in the players’ hotel rooms or lurking in shadowed hallways waiting to hear whispers of super-secret strategies (as much as it pains me to think that a Canadian rendition of “the name’s Benn. Jamie Benn” has probably never gone down). However, this doesn’t mean that the Dallas Stars can’t still use this All Star weekend to their advantage.
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Despite heading into the break with a win, the Stars have indeed been on a skid and need to find a way to solve, most of all, the Central division if they hope to rise back to the top. While bona fide reconnaissance may not be their method of choice to accomplish this, the Dallas Stars will certainly benefit from time spent around fellow Central division players.
The reason teams work so well (or sometimes fail so miserably) is their understanding (or lack thereof) of how to play together on the ice. It’s all in the chemistry. Cooperating as teammates gives players the opportunity to understand a different style of play from their own. And playing on All Star teams, though a more brief encounter, should not be much different.
Granted, throwing some three-on-three shifts on the books with players from opposing teams isn’t going to make the Dallas Stars start beasting the Central division. But, on a larger scale, it may give them some insight into other teams’ style of play, which could help them better see and amend the errors in their own.
So for Ruff, Benn, and Seguin, the All Star game might provide another perspective on how to approach Central division play. And for the rest of the team, it’ll provide a welcome few days of rest.
For us Stars fans, it’ll provide a chance to kick back and maybe connect with fans of other teams who, at any other time of the year, we would probably not be caught dead fraternizing with. All Star weekend provides a momentary lapse in the struggle of the cutthroat regular season and a chance for community and goodwill.
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And for me, it’ll provide a great chance to yet again rehash and prove the validity of my theory. I mean, come on. Benn and Seguin as the Angels, Lindy Ruff as Charlie. Just try and tell me you can’t see it.